breaking the ice

After a rather morbid start to my blog, i think i should touch bases properly. Im a student, pursuing a post graduate degree in Delhi, and simultaneously learning to deal with everything that life has to offer, the ups and downs, the silly little pressures of just growing up, of finding a place for myself in this world.
The past few days have brought me face to face with these maxims and how! Catching up with school friends after three years on a "girls night out" which included much intake of shots of different varieties, hookah and even a stolen half cigarette! This was the celebration of being young and alive and happy, to some extent. And the very next day, there was the sadness of a prayer meeting for the death of my friends father. His sudden demise while sleeping just highlighted the uncertainty of everything, and curiously worked positively to reinforce my will to make the best of everything offered to me, even if i couln't have everything i wanted.
And so i realize life is meant to be lived and thats about it...

How does one let go?

How does one let go of a way of life? a breath, a sigh, a moment in time, laughter, tears, pain, love. Here i am at 11:16 pm writing because its the only thing left to do, every other thing tried and tested many times over. A year, a month and a week of trying to stabilize myself, stand on my own two feet without searching for his strong shoulders to cry on, to whine about every inconsequential mishap of my life, and now its come to this, my biggest trial, not turning to him.

How does one get over the only form of happiness they've felt? How does one hold a moonbeam in their hand?