The 28th of February, 2007

Im sitting in class, the room that looks out onto the corridor, on the second last desk, my mind wandering, occupied only by thoughts of you. Hugging my pink shawl closer to my white salwar kameez, in an effort to ward off the chills of cold and nervousness, my phone in my lap, my heart fluttering with every beep that shows your messages. You want to meet me now. The bell rings, i spring up, ramble off some meagre excuse to my friends and run to meet you in our special place, the heart of Delhi, the heart of Us.

You are waiting for me outside the coffee shop in the metro station, your bag, and that insufferable bike handle on one shoulder, leaning against the wall with that heart rending casualness that only you possess. Our eyes meet, we smile, the world around us disappears. We walk out into the sunshine, the daylight making us even more shy, my excited banter making up for your secretive silence. So short, so new, our friendship, a relationship we don't quite know what to make of.

You have to leave soon, and so we must eat. We sit in Mcdonalds, one of your favourites, and talk about everything mundane and not so mundane. Even the mayonnaise dripping onto your shirt is endearing. The meal now over, we must leave, you have half an hour. We walk around the Inner Circle, not wanting this moment to end. Our hands brush against each other, giving you courage you never had before. You take my hand in yours, a touch of electricity, the blood vessels in my cheeks start their incessant dancing, the smile refuses to bow down, till im forced to bite my lip. You turn to me and say, "I won't leave without a kiss", causing the palpitations of the heart to increase a notch.

It is the middle of the day, the heart of the city, with it's teeming millions, no place for a lover's sojourn. We search nonetheless, every nook and cranny we possibly can, your hand clutching mine with renewed vigour every few seconds. I am enveloped in a feeling of hope, of excitement, of trepidation, of a sense of importance, of youthfulness, of growing up, a feeling i will
remember for years to come. We remain unsuccesful in our initial attempts, the disappointment is palpable. We go down to the metro station, where our destinations differ, we can pull this moment no longer. We stand and wait for the train, when with your mind made up, you pull me to a secluded side. My half hearted protests are brushed aside as your arms envelop me in a deep embrace, you lean down, we touch, my mind blanks out, there is nothing else apart from this moment. The awkwardness of our first kiss, your first ever, the teeth, the tongue, the lips, my arms clutching your shoulders, my eyes half closed, in an attempt to feel everything in its entirety, and be alert for people in the background at the same time. Oh, the wonderfulness of it all!

We reluctantly break apart, as the train arrives, and the milling crowds come forward, my shyness increasing proportionately to your happiness. We sit, our hands inseparable, the acute sensation of our legs touching, in that moment there is just us, no need for words, just being together is enough. Then comes your stop, before mine, you dont want to leave, but you must, you give me a parting kiss on the hand, my eyes follow you till the train enters the dark recesses of the tunnel, and im brought down to reality.

How can something so lovely be a sin?

Everything Will Fall Into Place..

I have been out of action for quite a while, having experienced lots of ups and downs in the last couple of weeks. A brief update -

• Big is seeing someone else, which caused a lot of heartache when it happened. My aim was to not let him govern my thoughts and as a consequence, was very pointedly, ignoring him. However he came and spoke to me, and now we're back on decent terms, albeit awkward ones.
• I have given my paltry little trimester exam for French and failed it, which was a big disappointment considering i have already passed my diploma 2 years ago! But to be fair, i had forgotten a lot of very basic things and had really not taken this very seriously. So, i must repeat it again. :(
• My friend Curly (very close friend from college) after months of waiting for the right opportunity finally got his dream job with JWT, working on the plum Pepsi account, without any particular training or experience, which just goes to show that good things come to those who wait :)
• Ms Vixen (another really close friend from college) and I decided to revisit some good memories of our jobless college times by volunteering to work in the European Higher Education Fair, just like we had two years back. The bonus of course being the cash earned! The experience started out being quite dull, with me working in the stall for the University of Centrale Nantes in France, and she working in the Presentation Hall. Nonetheless, over the course of two days we had good fun, involving the practicing of my French conversational skills, the scoping of 'hot' foreigners, eating good five star food, taking tonnes of coffee breaks, dealing with random flirtatious men, and most importantly, spending time with her after what seemed like years. I had forgotten how much we used to laugh when we were together, how we completely understood each others lame jokes, the relationship i have with her is honestly unique. It's sad therefore, that we're not as close anymore, another testimony, i guess, of how time goes by without so much as a tap on the head.
• Ann, is back with CL, completely disregarding the advice of her friends and family, and much to their chagrin. Ah, but what can one say, Love is blind, and in her case, stupid as well! (sorry, Ann!!)
• My first semester exams are in two weeks, and i haven't hit the books yet, and so am starting to get worried now. So, now i shall take leave. Enough with the procrastination!