The 28th of February, 2007

Im sitting in class, the room that looks out onto the corridor, on the second last desk, my mind wandering, occupied only by thoughts of you. Hugging my pink shawl closer to my white salwar kameez, in an effort to ward off the chills of cold and nervousness, my phone in my lap, my heart fluttering with every beep that shows your messages. You want to meet me now. The bell rings, i spring up, ramble off some meagre excuse to my friends and run to meet you in our special place, the heart of Delhi, the heart of Us.

You are waiting for me outside the coffee shop in the metro station, your bag, and that insufferable bike handle on one shoulder, leaning against the wall with that heart rending casualness that only you possess. Our eyes meet, we smile, the world around us disappears. We walk out into the sunshine, the daylight making us even more shy, my excited banter making up for your secretive silence. So short, so new, our friendship, a relationship we don't quite know what to make of.

You have to leave soon, and so we must eat. We sit in Mcdonalds, one of your favourites, and talk about everything mundane and not so mundane. Even the mayonnaise dripping onto your shirt is endearing. The meal now over, we must leave, you have half an hour. We walk around the Inner Circle, not wanting this moment to end. Our hands brush against each other, giving you courage you never had before. You take my hand in yours, a touch of electricity, the blood vessels in my cheeks start their incessant dancing, the smile refuses to bow down, till im forced to bite my lip. You turn to me and say, "I won't leave without a kiss", causing the palpitations of the heart to increase a notch.

It is the middle of the day, the heart of the city, with it's teeming millions, no place for a lover's sojourn. We search nonetheless, every nook and cranny we possibly can, your hand clutching mine with renewed vigour every few seconds. I am enveloped in a feeling of hope, of excitement, of trepidation, of a sense of importance, of youthfulness, of growing up, a feeling i will
remember for years to come. We remain unsuccesful in our initial attempts, the disappointment is palpable. We go down to the metro station, where our destinations differ, we can pull this moment no longer. We stand and wait for the train, when with your mind made up, you pull me to a secluded side. My half hearted protests are brushed aside as your arms envelop me in a deep embrace, you lean down, we touch, my mind blanks out, there is nothing else apart from this moment. The awkwardness of our first kiss, your first ever, the teeth, the tongue, the lips, my arms clutching your shoulders, my eyes half closed, in an attempt to feel everything in its entirety, and be alert for people in the background at the same time. Oh, the wonderfulness of it all!

We reluctantly break apart, as the train arrives, and the milling crowds come forward, my shyness increasing proportionately to your happiness. We sit, our hands inseparable, the acute sensation of our legs touching, in that moment there is just us, no need for words, just being together is enough. Then comes your stop, before mine, you dont want to leave, but you must, you give me a parting kiss on the hand, my eyes follow you till the train enters the dark recesses of the tunnel, and im brought down to reality.

How can something so lovely be a sin?